Hawks and Sparrows

There are times when I find that my critics are like this:

Hawk = me
Sparrows = my critics

The thing is, most of the critics in my life are online and they happen to be fellow followers of Christ. Online criticism does take its toll on individuals, including myself, because there’s the lack of “face time” between my critics and I; the internet can be notorious for trolls to lurk and post mean and spiteful comments…which have no ramifications because there’s no policing the internet in such a way that punishes what gets said online (although this is changing to some degree).

With having critics there are moments where they have struck a tender nerve with me, I’ve lost sleep over what some of my critics have to say, I’ve loathed some of the things my critics have to say which consequently makes me loathe my critics as well!
But about a year ago I had a revelation; my critics, for inasmuch they criticize me and put me down, they must really see something in me to spend time criticizing me! Sure people can say “I don’t agree with you” but when I have these long messages telling me point by point what they disagree, in a perverted way I’m touched by the “gesture” of my critics.

So like the hawk who’s pursued by sparrow, I will continue to soar despite the nitpicking and low blows my critics throw my way. Much love to one and all, including my critics!

~Nathanael~

26/31 – How do I handle/deal with both success and failure

How do I handle/deal with both success and failure

When it comes to success I usually figure what brought about this success, and take those ideas and apply them (if applicable) to other similar areas. Take youth ministry; I have been involved with youth ministries for the past 9 years, both with high school students but also middle school students, inside the church as well in a parachurch youth ministry. I recognized early on that Sunday morning and Wednesday night alone wouldn’t cut it, as far as getting to know the students better, so I made arrangements to hang out with some of the students apart from the designated times, which I got the approval of both the leader but also the student’s parental units. I still do that when I can, and in a way it serves to get the student better but also to some extent the family of the student better.

I also try to pass on what I’ve learned from my successes (as well as failures) and pass them on to people who are in a scenario I was once in, if I can help given guidance to another individual what to do or what not to do based on what I’ve done, I will, does it mean they’ll take my advice and go with it? Not necessarily, the choice is always theirs, but if I can help out I will.

When it comes to failure I evaluate and reevaluate what I did wrong; sometimes the failure couldn’t have been avoided but there are other times where I “get it” and where I went wrong. Growing up I learned a lot of things by either a negative example (hence I learned what to do by seeing someone else demonstrating what not to do) or simply the hard way. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I will say that a good portion of the time I’ve learned from them and have done my best not to repeat that mistake.

In all honesty I wish I didn’t have to learn some things I’ve learned the hard way, if my father had played an active role in my life growing up I probably could have gotten some key things right the first time. But he wasn’t there, he still isn’t there, and so I learned by failing and not by succeeding. I can only hope for the best that I will help my future kids because they deserve to have what I didn’t.

~Nathanael~

25/31 – Something I planned that ended up not being what I expected

Something I planned that ended up not being what I expected

About a year and a half ago I made an online friend, she and I would IM, text, talk on the phone and Skype one another. I didn’t know if a relationship was in the works, so I just played it cool and continued talking to this girl.

About a year ago I went to Indianapolis to meet up with her, so I drove out to Indianapolis which was a halfway location for her and I driving wise. We went to the Indianapolis Museum of Art and spent most of our time there, grabbed dinner at an Indian restaurant, hung out in her hotel room and then I was off at the end of the day.

We talked a little since then but that’s about it. I kinda realize she’s someone my younger self would like to be with, but I desire someone who’s more mature and drinks a bit less, who isn’t so conscious about outward looks. Meeting someone online should be done with caution, I knew her longer so I didn’t feel all too worried with going out to Indianapolis to hang out with her, I had a good time with her but it wasn’t what I expected.

Oh well, I’m still praying and looking with my eyes open for my June. :)

~Nathanael~

24/31 – A spontaneous moment in my life that that turned out to be fantastic

A spontaneous moment in my life that that turned out to be fantastic

I was invited via mail to test drive the then new Lexus IS-F, which in case if you don’t know what it looks like here are some photos:

416 horse power
Zed to 60 in 4.6 seconds
Quarter mile in 13 seconds…

All this for me to test drive,
Oh did I mention that I was invited to test drive this car at the local track?

Not the best photo for it, but I was invited to test drive the Lexus IS-F on this track (Autobahn Country Club), so I quickly filled out the information so as to reserve a spot…my father found out and decided he wanted a go at it, why not? I thought and so I got him signed up for the event as well.

I love cars, for their design (when it’s a good design) for their speed (’nuff said) and for their heritage. I have a lot of car books, I’ve attended the Chicago Auto Show 13 years running, I love car shows and I love that there are lot of good ones in my area… So given the opportunity to drive one, around a track no less, I’m all for it!

It was simply a beautiful day for driving, and when we got there we got a lowdown as to how it was going to go. A little practicing to give us inexperienced track drivers a chance to get a feel for the track, it so happened that I was the lead car after the pace car, so I set the par and I drove as fast (responsibly, mind you) as I could. I did get it up to 100 miles per hour in the longer straights, if I knew more about the car and the track I probably would have given it more.

After our track time we were invited to get in the car with a professional driver…so we did, and wow, good driver + fast speeds = fun!

It took just one time to work in my mind that I want to have more track time in my life, the track bug bit hard and I can’t wait to do it again. My father however had enough for one life time, his stomach was…moved, and we had to make a brief system to get that “cleared up” as it were.

~Nathanael~

Questions from one of my readers answered

These following questions were asked by one of my readers in response to my post why I choose to build bridges between the Christian community and the LGBT community

The reason why I’m answering them openly instead of just writing a response to my reader is because he and I come from two different perspectives in this matter, and because his questions err on the side of being harmful whether he realizes it or not, by answering his questions openly protects him from flack from other readers of my site. To which any comment he has posted has been hidden so you can’t play “who would say such things” and start looking around to find this individual.

His questions which you’ll read in a moment have bothered me, and to be honest the first one caused me to lose sleep the night he posted them to my site, I wept for him for maybe he doesn’t realize what he’s saying.

What he said is what he said, but I won’t let the cat out of the bag as to who it is, I’m protecting him tho God knows a part of me would just feed him to you the reader… His questions are as follows:

1) If I understand you rightly, your main goal is to get heterosexual and homosexual couples to practice monogamy? Fidelity is the goal, no matter what kind of relationship: hetero, homo, pedo, incest, bestiality, etc. ?
Well you don’t understand me rightly, my main goal isn’t to get straight and gay couples (it’s okay to use this language) to practice monogamy, that is something they need to work out on their own, but with the help of others if needed be. See, my perspective is that sexuality is primarily about responsibility, and for the believer regardless of sexual orientation that responsibility is between yourself, yourself and God, yourself and your partner, and yourself and your partner AND God. Trust and responsibility comes from a monogamous lifestyle and I lean to saying that when this takes place and God is involved, God truly blesses the heterosexual couple as well as the gay couple or any other couple that falls under the LGBT umbrella.
I speak of terms of human relationships in terms of gay, straight, lesbian and transsexual couples, whether you realize it or not (because I don’t know your heart and mind) but equating a gay couple’s relationship to having sex with one’s sibling or with an animal is very VERY offensive.

2) You hold to the call to monogamy from the Bible, correct? At least your interpretation of it?
Well isn’t everyone’s interpretation of the Bible an interpretation of the Bible? That is, there isn’t a way or the way to read the Bible, if we can remove ourselves out of the equation and read the Bible we should…but we can’t, we’re part of the equation. But if one’s to read the Bible in context, you need to read the entire Bible, because a few verses, a few chapters, a few books surrounding the passage simply doesn’t cut it.
It’s kind of hard to define where exactly the Bible discusses monogamy, there is the example of Christ and the Church as being bride and groom, but there are countless examples in the Bible of guys with many wives, guys with concubines, etc.

3) But you apply it to all relationships, widening the scope of “marriage” to include not only hetero, but homo as well. When it only applies it to heterosexual marriages in the text (the text never speaks of a homosexual marriage in fact), how do you use it to apply to homosexual couples also?
I believe that as one reads the Bible they need to remember they were not the original audience nor these modern times was the context, and if we’re to examine within context what marriage was Biblically it was essentially sex, there wasn’t an exchanging of rings and vows, there wasn’t a reception with someone playing sappy songs mixed with newer upbeat ones, that’s a more modern Western marriage. The language Jesus uses when he spoke of “in my Father’s house has many mansions” was marriage language that was understood loud and clear by the people of his day and age.
God isn’t on the side of the conquering, he came into this world by way of Jesus by simple means. Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey’s colt, in humbleness and humility, he didn’t come to conquer and drive the Romans back whence they came, he came to share of God’s love and how we can have a relationship with him. I doubt Jesus had in the back of his mind “when I’m gone I hope they start a religion in my honor”, if anything we’d be a sect of Judaism, The Old Testament and New Testament is hinged on Jesus and Jesus alone, Jesus prayed for our unity and that we would be known for our love, how can we say we love the LGBT community if we’re not willing to engage, if we’re not willing to love tangibly?
Marriage if carried out as it should be, should be a sacred bond, a union, that part about “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part” doesn’t have a part in where it says BECAUSE WE’RE A STRAIGHT COUPLE, so why shouldn’t these vows be taken by gay couples as well? Are straight couples the only ones who can honor such wedding vows? I think not!

4) Do you interpret the union between man and woman and the divine institution of marriage to be the Bible saying “this applies to all relationships”? And equally, the verses about adultery always imply man and woman. But you throw it up to mean “all relationships.” Would this include the kinds mentioned in #1?
I do believe there’s something to a man and a woman getting married, I do, it’s called they’re a straight couple. But again, we’re not the original audience with the Bible, most of us are also reading a translation of a translation of a translation! If we all knew Biblical Hebrew and Koiné Greek, wouldn’t that be something? :) I can’t wait to learn it once I go on to earn an M.Div.

There is something to marriage being something of a gift to us from God, but I don’t see that it is a heteronormative right only. Some members of the LGBT community who are followers of Christ interpret the Bible and glean from it that they should live a life of celibacy, other members of the LGBT community who are followers of Christ interpret the Bible and glean from it that they can have a relationship, so it all depends on the individual and honestly I’m fine with either interpretation of the Bible, but I will say that if either group is infringing upon the other group’s interpretation, conflict can arise and it shouldn’t be tolerated. I also think about what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:9 when he said “…But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.” Again, who said this passage was intended for straight couples only?

If you ever want to show the love of Christ to the LGBT community in a tangible way, let me know.

All is Grace,
Nathanael