The sacredness of coming out

I don’t have any friends who have come out to me but I recognize that coming out is a sacred moment that should be honored. The sacredness is symbiotic in nature, that is, the one coming out is sharing something to someone and the one receiving the coming out moment also gives something of themselves.

Coming out, depending on who you are and your environment, can be one of the most difficult things to do but also one of the most freeing things to do. It’s about being authentic with your sexuality, it’s about making it known to others that you’re gay, bi, or lesbian. Coming out takes guts, but by being real with yourself and sharing this with others, that’s part of the sacredness.

Now how is sacred for the person receiving the news of someone coming out? The way I see it, the sacredness comes from being able to speak into the person’s life upon getting this news, you can affirm them and certainly love on them for this bold act, because there are definitely individuals who do not come out because the stakes are too high; being kicked out of a family, abuse, death threats are some reasons why some people don’t come out.

What gets said in the moments following someone’s coming out sets the course from there on out, granted positive words and actions are the best way to go about it. The person who came out worked up the courage to figure out who they are and they also worked up the courage to share it with you as well…honoring that person, recognizing their Imago Dei-ness, loving that person and sticking up for them if needed be…all that is sacred.


To the reader who is considering coming out, God bless you on this giant step you’re about to make! I hope the people you share this hear you and love on you continuously.

To the reader who may have someone come out to them, God bless you in hearing what they have to say and loving them still. May your words be a salve to their heart and mind.

(I discovered this coming out video as I was writing this post, I thought it was worth sharing)



3 thoughts on “The sacredness of coming out

  1. So are you praising them for being honest about coming to terms with repenting from their homosexual behavior? Or are you praising them for being honest about living their homosexual lifestyle and having no intention to change that?

    Interesting. I also found this quote to be misleading:

    “The person who came out worked up the courage to figure out who they are and they also worked up the courage to share it with you as well…honoring that person, recognizing their Imago Dei-ness…”

    I would argue that the homosexual who comes out, not for repentance, but affirmation in that behavior, has not “figured out who they are.” They are letting their sin tell them who they are, they are letting themselves define who they are. Figuring out who you are doesn’t mean further introspection into yourself, but further seeking God, revealed thru the Scriptures. Let God tell them who they are, which is like every other sinner, in need of grace, a creature needing to be in relationship with the Creator. The homosexual is not going to find his true identity in Christ if he holds on to his false homosexual identity.

    I find nothing God-honoring in homosexuality. The person is still a God-image bearer, but his choice of sin is not honoring and it is not their identity, “who they are.” If you want to recognize their “Imago Dei-ness,” I find it hard to believe that affirming their idolatrous homosexual behavior is getting them closer to that image of God, but instead, further. I would say the same to a murderer, thief, liar, adulterer, and of course, a homosexual. The homosexual must find his identity in Christ redeeming him from every sin, undeservedly, including homosexuality. This results in a life devoted to Christ, not heterosexuality. The end goal is not for a homosexual to live a heterosexual lifestyle (though if he/she desires a family or marriage relationship, it must be heterosexual), but for the homosexual to denounce his sin for the sake of following after Christ, just as I a heterosexual man denounce my sin of lusting after women for the sake of following after Christ.

    Not anti-homosexual, but anti-homosexuality.

    • I would like to dialogue with you in this matter if you like, but honestly from what I read in your response you have your mind already made up in this matter. If you do get to a place in your life where you’re able to leave opinions and debate at the door and honestly dialogue with a perspective of “well what if I am wrong?” instead of getting hung up on being “right”, we shall…but now’s not the time for that.

      • I’m sorry, but you misunderstand me. I’m also interested in a dialogue. I’m desperately curious on why you think the way you do on homosexuality, the image of God, their identity, what’s best for a homosexual wanting to be Christian, etc.

        And it’s not that I think I am right and am gloating about it as some stereotypical conservative Christian, but there are issues here at stake that are not the “well let’s agree to disagree” or “well we can’t really know what the Bible meant here.”

        Because I think we can know and do know what the Bible says on this issue. And I’m not just talking about the explicit homosexual passages, but on a broader scale, the passages about God creating man and woman in his image, the institution of marriage, what is idolatry, etc.

        I truly believe that Scripture is quite clear on this. I do not know on what other level to engage this topic on, other than an exegetical one. Purely from a social perspective? Or perhaps biological? Just what is your main authority in approaching this topic, if not deferring to our supposed ultimate guide in the Bible?

        So really, I’m just interested in a dialogue on how you get around what I think is made so clear in Scripture. I am not here to say you are wrong or that I am right. I am here to dialogue with you about Scripture, what it says about this, and why we take differing conclusions. Talking about Scripture between two Christians sounds like a worthy pursuit to me.

        Btw, it is an opinion that we should leave our opinions at the door. I believe it is impossible to shed those presuppositions you and I hold and then come to a discussion neutrally. No, I believe that we are holding to interpretations of the Bible, reality, etc and I think its beneficial to see why we hold to them. What is the worldview or system out of which, you are able to form your conclusions and me mine? And if you truly have this “well what if I’m wrong” approach, then you would naturally welcome a dialogue with me?

        That is what interests me. Not a knock-down argument that you assume I want. We come from opposite sides on this topic. I do not ask that we compromise to meet in the middle (because I don’t think you can) but that we do meet in the middle in terms of fairly and gently discussing this sensitive and ultimately, biblical issue. Not to change anyone’s mind, although I think we’d both be okay with that, but to understand each other and for my own purposes, to see which position is better grounded in Scripture. I mean, the bible is important right?!?

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