How do I handle/deal with both success and failure
When it comes to success I usually figure what brought about this success, and take those ideas and apply them (if applicable) to other similar areas. Take youth ministry; I have been involved with youth ministries for the past 9 years, both with high school students but also middle school students, inside the church as well in a parachurch youth ministry. I recognized early on that Sunday morning and Wednesday night alone wouldn’t cut it, as far as getting to know the students better, so I made arrangements to hang out with some of the students apart from the designated times, which I got the approval of both the leader but also the student’s parental units. I still do that when I can, and in a way it serves to get the student better but also to some extent the family of the student better.
I also try to pass on what I’ve learned from my successes (as well as failures) and pass them on to people who are in a scenario I was once in, if I can help given guidance to another individual what to do or what not to do based on what I’ve done, I will, does it mean they’ll take my advice and go with it? Not necessarily, the choice is always theirs, but if I can help out I will.
When it comes to failure I evaluate and reevaluate what I did wrong; sometimes the failure couldn’t have been avoided but there are other times where I “get it” and where I went wrong. Growing up I learned a lot of things by either a negative example (hence I learned what to do by seeing someone else demonstrating what not to do) or simply the hard way. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I will say that a good portion of the time I’ve learned from them and have done my best not to repeat that mistake.
In all honesty I wish I didn’t have to learn some things I’ve learned the hard way, if my father had played an active role in my life growing up I probably could have gotten some key things right the first time. But he wasn’t there, he still isn’t there, and so I learned by failing and not by succeeding. I can only hope for the best that I will help my future kids because they deserve to have what I didn’t.