I wish I had a best friend
I have a total of 6 or 7 friends, Facebook would indicate otherwise, but the people I care the most about are small in numbers. I’m okay with that as I have good relationships with all 6 or 7, nothing flaky, no shallow end pool conversations…
One of my better friendships has been cultivated over the last 18 years! What started off with Boy Scouts is now doing youth ministry together, I appreciate my friend because he has been there for me and I for him, I think it’s because of this our friendship has lasted for so long.
But the dynamic of having that one individual whom I can tell anything at anytime and vice versa, I’ve lost that kind of relationship since my fiancee broke up with me several years ago. Personal trust issues aside, just getting to that point of true intimacy with another human being is kinda hard for me to with another individual is difficult. I do have good friendships but a best one I’m lacking.
I’m not afraid of true intimacy with another human being, these things just take time and I am willing. Part of me thinks that my June isn’t going to be someone I know local, which doesn’t complicate things but it provides me to start from a ground level perspective…letting someone in who doesn’t know me or where I’m coming from…yet, which I could put out the best of who I am, but I rather be truly honest with who I am, warts and all.