Winning isn’t everything (but to some people it is)
My father’s side of the family is very competitive, very competive; instead of playing spoons we play knives and we put them across the room so we have to get up and run to have a chance to stay in the game. Everything is set up to oust someone, to beat someone, to come out ahead and be defined as the winner.
I remember one time we were at my uncle’s father-in-law’s house and we were playing Bocci ball. One of my sisters got the upper hand and so he spent the rest of the game trying to knock her Bocci ball to kingdom come, to which he didn’t do that, he did however break a big vase…that was in the neighbor’s yard. A nice game of Bocci ball? Hah, perhaps in some other world with some other family, over-competitiveness drives them all at all times.
I used to get into competitive mode with them or apart from them, I had to win (mostly running events) it was first place or no place. I had a successful run of this, but as I got older (and certainly wiser) I recognized that winning isn’t the most important thing out there.
When I realized this, I still remained competitive, but I didn’t overexert myself or feel like a failure for not getting in first place. It was odd for the extended family to understand that I wasn’t in over-competitive mode, simply because playing nicely and not cutthroat isn’t how they do it. I do have a competitive drive, but it isn’t out to kill the competition and be the victor; I live in the 21st century and not in times where I would be fighting for my life in the Colosseum.
Yet sadly it seems like I’m the only one who has adapted this kind of competition, they are still very very driven by their over-competitive appetites, which is very sad to me because everyone loses sometime or another, and which individual is more apt to recover – the one who is competitive in everything and in every way or the one who is competitive but is okay with coming in 2nd (or some other placing)?
Winning is good, but it shouldn’t be the sole thing that drives us.