Looking for God in the Higgs Boson particle

Lately there’s been a lot of talk in the news that the so-called God Particle, the Higgs Boson, might have been found. That is to say the essence of all there and life itself may have been found. Yet to scientifically paraphrase G.K. Chesterton; every scientist who looks for Higgs Boson is looking for God.

I truly believe if this kind of particle does exist, it won’t be God in itself but God will be in the particle. God cannot be contained in the vastness of the universe or even the span of all of human history, nor can he be reduced to a single particle. He is much too big and cannot be summed up by anything that we as humans place upon him. I have faith in Him, that somehow and someway if this particle does in fact exist, it does deter from the nature of God’s bigness but only adds to it.

I have been in the mountains of New Mexico when it has been a clear night and the span of stars above me just boggled my mind, I’m no man of science but looking at the bigness of my slice of the universe left me stunned and thankful to God for creating every single star I saw, every man woman and child in all the world as well.

Moments like this make me feel small but secure in the fact the fact that God loves me as I am and not as I should be. I cannot truly fathom how big and how great God is, I can only speak at length and detail of what I know He has done in my life.
There is so much that I don’t know, but I love learning and my curiosity for who I am as a human being and who God is drives me forward.

I do appreciate what the men and women of science are doing, and I wish them well as they look for the Higgs Boson particle, may they find what they’re looking for, may they find God in the process.



Engagement over judgment

The other night at my youth ministry meeting with my fellow high school leaders and middle school leaders, we played a game of “5 minutes in the hot seat”, essentially 5 minutes of questioning the individual that was provided to us, to give ourselves a chance to talk and share a bit of who we are and our stories.

When it got to my turn I got a gist of the kind of questions my fellow youth ministry leaders were asking one another, and so prior to getting up there and answering I started mulling over my answers, but one of my favorite youth leaders asked me out of the blue “what is something you hate?” I responded as such.

I hate it when followers of Christ choose judgment over engagement in regards to the LGBT community. When Christians make assumptions, or all they have on their mind is same sex sexual intercourse, there’s a wall that gets put up and those kind of Christians keep it up, maintain it, but by no means do a lot of Christians step forward to question the wall, leap over the wall, or even break down that wall.

The wall will not always exist within Christian culture, I have faith in God that it will come down completely over time, but I do recognize that while laws on a government level are yanking down the wall (good stuff!) it will take a while for people’s hearts to change…and this is where I come in.

As a straight advocate for equal rights for everyone who is made in God’s image, I believe I am called to build bridges between the Christian community and the LGBT community. I choose engagement over judgment, and while I cannot change people’s hearts, I hope and have faith in God that through me and others who are like-minded and like-hearted will help others choose this path.
I do realize as in my own journey getting to this point it takes time, it takes having faith and holding it out with open hands instead of getting caught up in belief and certainty with closed hands. It also takes time to develop personal thoughts and concepts paired with tangible and dynamic love, getting away from “my mom says/my father says/my pastor says/my professors say” is a lengthy but worthwhile endeavor.

So that’s what I hate, but it’s a hate I will overcome with love, God’s love, it takes time but it will be worth it, I have faith it will be.


Promoting healthy sexuality one marriage at a time


Do I have your attention yet? 😉

Is a very beautiful and wonderful thing for humans to enjoy, in which for the past several years whenever I go to a wedding I bring as a wedding present a gift card to Lovers Lane.

Because while I think that sex can be good apart from marriage, it can be better still in the context of marriage, to which I believe that regardless of your sexual orientation that you should have the right to get married.

With that being said, the card that I enclose to couples who get married has a note attached to the gift card – Have fun and pick out something together. I do think that it is important for couples to be open and honest with one another in all facets of their lives, including their sexual lives, in which I think that by communicating what’s good as well as what’s bad in the marital bed can help both individuals out, hence the together part in my wedding card message.

I think that sometimes in particularly in Christian culture (as one who’s a follower of Christ, so I’m writing of what I know and perceive) sex is given a bad rap, or sex is viewed as “for procreation and not for recreation only”, or worst of all “sex is dirty.” Yet I don’t think it is, I think that everything is permissible in sex as long as everyone involved in the act of sex is for it, but if some part of sex is problematic for an individual it should be stopped and not coerced of the person until they break down and give in.

So have fun and pick out something together with your SO! 🙂 Have a lot of happy and good sex!


30/30 – It could have been worse

It could have been worse

Life isn’t always what it seems and lately I’ve been in a bit of a funk where I’m dwelling on what was and is no longer. If I am honest with myself and my current circumstances I seem to be pining over the past and am not satisfied with my current lot in life.

Things are getting better for me, they truly are, but I think about love and how much I want to give love and be loved…

It could have been worse, had I not been in a place where love was expressed I might not know how to appreciate it or truly live it out. Love hurts as much as it heals, and when you truly love someone you recognize that it will come to an end, not because one’s perspective should be looking at the possible end at the beginning, but if you give your love to someone and they give their love back, someone’s going to pass away and the physical day-to-day in-good-times-and-bad kind of love will come to an end.

Yet I realize that I want that again, even though there is hurting that comes with the healing, I am ready and so I look for my June, I pray for her with my eyes open.

Love is an active thing, it must be acted out in a tangible dynamic way, love cannot coast, either it is acted upon or it is not, there’s no middle ground where it just gets by on its own.

So tragically I do miss loving and being loved, but I am ready for love the next time it presents itself.


29/30 – Some rules society seems to enforce were meant to be broken

Some rules society seems to enforce were meant to be broken

I work with the homeless and down-and-out in my community of Aurora Illinois. Now society and social norms would say that they (how dehumanizing! They’re some of my favorite Imago Deis!) should keep to themselves, that they should pull their bootstraps up, get a job, “God helps those who help themselves”, yada yada yada…are ya done yammering your jaw?

There are times where I say screw society and social norms, if something comes between me and serving God by serving others because “that’s not what we do” “in polite company…” et al, I don’t want a part of society and social norms that separate me from people whom God has made in his own image.

Take for instance what’s going on in Orlando, essentially it is illegal to feed homeless people, to which some people defied the law and consequently got arrested for it… Yet put in a similar situation I would be doing the same! There aren’t any laws imposing me from feeding the homeless in my hometown, but if it ever becomes illegal by law terms as in Orlando, I will break the law.

Some rules are meant to be broken, and I have no problem breaking rules that keep me from serving God by serving others.