I need new guy friends

I need some new guy friends, I told my good friend Mark as his wedding was wrapping up 2 weeks ago.

For the record, I’ve never have had a lot of friends, nor have I had the desire to have a lot of friends just a handful and a few more. My limiting to acquire more friends is that I like to go deep. Going deep, that is, not staying at the shallow end of the pool conversationally, intellectually, spiritually, emotionally et al.

Yes there is a time and a place when it comes to getting to know someone that you should not go deep, you can but I err on the side of caution and not wearing my heart on my sleeve, and even though I do live in the tension with some of my bestest buds, I never put all of me out the first time I met them, or anyone for that matter.

The thing is when it comes down to it, since 2005 I’ve decided to live life less compartmentalized and more intentional, instead of walking around with a grin of a facade on, I like to be real/authentic with others. I lived 21 years thinking that if I didn’t put on a game face, didn’t let on to what was really going on in my life and my surroundings no one would like me and even worse still, I thought no one would love me either.

Yet as I put my heart out there in faith and hope despite being burned a few times too many, it has served me well to live in such a way.

Yet this is why I say I need new guy friends…

With my friend Mark getting married I no longer have any single friends, and while there will be time to hang out with my guy friends who are married, the dynamic has changed — as it should! If my guy friends who hang out with me a great deal were to carry that over into their married life, I wouldn’t be down with that nor would their wives either.

So my pursuit of new guy friends isn’t one of replacing the guys I know and love so very much, but one of bonding with those who aren’t married and consequently are “more free” like me in single-hood or even dating-hood.

So here’s to finding more guy friends, and living intentionally and less compartmentalized! šŸ™‚


One thought on “I need new guy friends

  1. I couldn’t agree more with what you said about getting rid of the smile charade. Everyone has become so hesitant to let other people in these days, that we all just parade around making small talk all day long pretending that we are all okay. I think its utterly ridiculous. we either need to become a more compassionate society or we need to change the social mores to accommodate the insecure, narcissistic robot drones that we have all become.

    “Hey man, how are you?” {Oh crap, what’s that guy’s name again?}
    “I’m good, how about you?” {I’m not good, why did I say that? I hate my life.}
    “Oh good, really good, keepin’ busy” {Please don’t ask about work, I can’t tell him I got fired!}
    “That’s cool man, me too, me too” {I gotta get outta here before he asks about my ex}
    “Well it was good seeing you again” {What the hell is his name… Matt…? Mike?…}

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