This is going to be a semi-difficult post to write. It may also be semi-difficult to read. So read with caution and I’ll take caution in the writing…
Communication is vital, and there is someone in my life albeit a bit less now that I have away from my hometown and out on my own. This person is family, and despite being family, we haven’t had a serious conversation with one another in 367 days. Now you might ask me how do I know how many days it has been, well simply put, we talked on a serious level prior to the midnight showing of the first installment of The Hobbit.
One thing I recognize with communication with me, I do what I can to get from the
of the conversation pool and into the
pretty quickly. I like getting past the general/typical questions and asking the more difficult questions. Some people think I transition into these types of questions faster than I ought to, but I think I am pretty good at assessing character and whether or not someone is capable and willing to get there conversationally with me.
Yet with this person in my life whom I haven’t spoken to in 367 days there’s the nature of we hardly get to the deep end, and it’s not that I don’t try to get there, I just think that the other person’s incapable of getting into deeper waters conversationally. It’s hard, it really is, because I sometimes don’t know how to go back to the shallow end when I’ve been to the deep end; I guess I kind of have to adapt to these present circumstances. Yet I realize this despite the difficulty of this self-perceived backtracking, if it will help foster communication and restoration to a fractured relationship then it is totally worth it. 🙂
I also realize that it begins with me; as much as I’d like to wait around on this person to get their shit together, it isn’t necessarily going to solely happen based on me wanting or hoping that they do it, I need to be willing to be the one who gets it going! So with all that in mind, this is a resolution that I carry out. If I meet resistance, I’ll withdraw but not fully retreat; as someone who has been discarded like trash before, I don’t like the feeling and realize that redemption is for everyone if they’re willing to be redeemed.