I give it to you straight, no chaser – 2/28


…It was no accident that you heard the truth and subsequently are rather pissed off with what I have to say…

(preface and back story)

I have in the last few years resolved to be a more honest person. There was a time in my life where I lied perpetually; I did this to cover my ass, as well as my parent’s asses. When an abused individual doesn’t have anyone to trust, truth is fabricated as needed be and in my lifetime I have bullshitted a LOT of people as to what was going on in my life.

With that being said, I give people I know the truth, no punches pulled, no sugarcoating it, just simply the truth straight with no chaser. In a way it has served me well, more often than not people are glad I put it out there, but then there’s family, in particular my parents…this kind of approach doesn’t go well with them. Granted I didn’t learn honesty from them, if anything, I learned that you hide away what hurts you the most and never bring it to light because no one gives a damn. But, BUT! I have found people who care about what hurts me, I have found people who give a damn about what’s going on in my life…so that’s where I’m coming from.
With a bit of prayer, a bit of luck, a bit of psychology & sociology rolled into one I have realized I have the power to speak into people’s lives. I am able to give direction and put out the existential here-is-the-door-but-you-have-to-choose-to-enter-or-not perspectives, and while I cannot change anyone but myself I am still able to level straight no chaser with people. Still, people are people, even when logic and reasoning is smack dab right in front of them, some will still veer towards the most detrimental path.

So that’s where I’m at in life, it’s off-putting to some but I am not about to lessen my standards for another person. Granted this happens with people I know; if I don’t have a relationship with you, I’m not going to let you have it in a way that might come across as abrasive. I realize that this might be perceived as talking out of two sides of my mouth, but I’ll level with you, I do NOT respond well to criticism and critique from individuals I DON’T KNOW. I learned in my early years of youth ministry this; “rules without relationship leads to rebellion“. I have a fighters spirit within me, so you better believe I have it within me to fight back against authority who calls the shots without me having a say in the matter. If I know you, I come from a place of love and not chastisement, I want the best for you and so that’s why I am not going to mislead you how dire a set of circumstances might be.

It’s no accident that this has given me the upper hand (in a good way) a lot of the time, but it starts first and foremost with relationship.



8 thoughts on “I give it to you straight, no chaser – 2/28

  1. “Rules without relationship leads to rebellionβ€œ… as a teacher, I begin with relationship. Once that’s established I find I don’t have to post a list of rules. Keep on fighting the good fight, Nathanael!

  2. While I agree it is important to be honest, I also think that in most cases, whether it’s a friend or not, it is important to temper one’s honesty. Otherwise, it doesn’t matter how well you know someone, your honesty will come across the same as the criticism and critique of a stranger.

  3. Honesty in interaction might not always be a popular choice, but it’s an admirable one. Being honest with yourself is one of the most worthwhile pursuits in life. Great post, Nathanael.

  4. Kudos to you. We should never hide our authentic selves. There will be people who love us and people who don’t and that’s okay. We are not put on this earth to please everyone, and especially not at the cost of our souls.

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