Say what you mean and mean what you say – 7/28

I am a man of a lot of pet peeves, A LOT; primarily people and their driving skills (or lack thereof) but there’s also the nature of communication. Yes I sometimes get bogged down on what gets said and how it gets said, but there’s also the nature of someone hint hint-ing about something. C’mon man…or woman…spill the beans! Stop this unnecessary beating around the bush.

While I have communicated where I am coming from in all of this in a previous post, I will put out there why I think that it’s a good thing to say what you mean and mean what you say.

***

By speaking authentically, people will trust you
; if you’re caught up in apprehension and perhaps even verbally squirming, your posture might make you out to be a liar…but by speaking the truth, speaking from a place of authenticity can take you farther than you might expect.

Body language [sometimes] speaks louder than words; even if you’re communicating something with knowledge and insight but have an air of not wanting to be there, you’re bored, et al. people will pick up on this and you’ll be viewed under scrutiny for the way you carry yourself via body language.

Honesty is the best policy; Instead of putting out there what you think people want to hear, put out the truth…but…

Use tact; …Use tact and love, choose your words carefully before you say them. My rule of thumb is think before you think before you speak.

Take ownership in what you’re communicating; I think that a good part of learning in our earlier years is one of mimicry. I know that before I started reading at the age of 3, I would “read” to my sister, that is repeat what was just said to me as my mother read to me and I then went to read to my sister. But there comes a time when “well my mother/father/pastor/best friend says” wears out its welcome. Yes these can be valid sources for what you’re trying to communicate, but what do YOU as an individual have to say? I am more likely to listen to what someone has to communicate that is the polar opposite of my viewpoints if he or she makes known this is what I have to say rather than communicating via “well my mother/father/pastor/best friend” statements.

It’s okay to not know; In my younger years (in particular about Christian matters) there was a drive that I had to know all the answers, that somehow it was imperative to be right. Well I no longer have that bent to me, I would rather come across being graceful and loving than right, and sometimes that comes at the “expense” of not knowing. I own up to when I don’t know, and I know that it’s okay not to know…ya know? ๐Ÿ˜‰ But seriously, communicating a lack of knowing is okay, it also provides you with a chance to learn more about the subject you don’t know.

Speak the truth in love; Some people get this confused and come across as speaking as an asshole. Love should be the center, should be the bearing in which we chart our lives, and we should weight out our words accordingly. Am I saying what I am saying because I’m out to get “the other”? Am I saying what I am saying to get a reaction, to rile someone up? Am I saying what I am saying because I think my viewpoints are the only valid ones? So much needs to be thought out before it’s vocalized, and I am guilty at times of vocalizing a reaction with no thought whatsoever.

***

Communication is vital in all relationships. It is important to put out there what we should say in an effective manner. To go about skirting issues will only lead to a break in communication and quite possibly a break in relationship to whom we’re communicating to, so please for the love all that is good, stop hint hint-ing and say what you mean and mean what you say.

~Nathanael~

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11 thoughts on “Say what you mean and mean what you say – 7/28

  1. You make a lot of good points here and offer good advice. Honesty, tact, love and saying what you mean…words to live by. And it is always OK to admit that you don’t have the answer.

  2. And even following all that good advice is not even a guarantee that the communication will be understood the way it was intended! But still, it’s important to try…

  3. Very VERY well said. I always tell the kids, “Just tell the truth.” it is so much easier… you get it out, don’t have to worry about it anymore and then just deal with the fallout. SO much easier.

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