I want to be a lawyer for zombies – 10/28

I want to be a lawyer for zombies. I think they are a part of our population who are grossly uninformed to their rights and the rest of the population looks down upon them and rights them off as a undead brain-eating folk.

Yes, zombies like your brains, but surely there can be some wiggle room so that they get their brains and you keep your life, right? The brain is very adaptive, case in point; A mentally ill young man who shot himself in the head in a suicide attempt suffered a brain injury that apparently eliminated his phobia of germs and his obsession with washing his hands, doctors say. While we use more of our brains than the supposed 10% myth, why not figure out cut out what we don’t need and give them to the zombies. They get to eat, your brain still functions, sounds like a win-win scenario to me!

Better yet, incorporate bioengineering, a bit of cloning, and 3D printers to create brains. Granted the brains might taste weird and nothing like how mom used to make them, but you know when times are hard you gotta eat what you gotta eat. We could also exhume recent “famous” dead people and make copies of brains for that unique flavor, and from what I’ve been told Pete Seeger’s brain pairs excellently with Pinot Grigio.

That’s another thing, if we give zombies brains they will be less grouchy and less likely to step out of line and subsequently they could be integrated in society. No need to perpetuate the Us versus Them paradigm, none of this The Walking Dead tomfoolery, WE can be friends with zombies.

I will not stop, nor will I give up my fight in seeing that zombies get what they want, I am Nathanael, Lawyer for Zombies!




6 thoughts on “I want to be a lawyer for zombies – 10/28

  1. I dunno. Strikes me you’d be awfully busy defending brain-hungry Zombies. Besides I don’t think Zombies have any money so you’d be out a fee – unless they paid you in brain cells.

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