In truth, I do speak like this…
I am a biased fan of Shakespeare, and by this I mean I am fond of The Merchant of Venice, Hamlet, and Romeo and Juliet. Yes there are things that Shakespeare wrote, but I’m most familiar with.
Yet with some familiarity, there’s some obsessing on my part when it comes to Hamlet. Oh Hamlet, oh procrastinator-who-fails-to-kill-his-uncle-so-everyone-dies Hamlet. I “found” Shakespeare later on in life when I was a Sophomore in college with Michael O’Gorman who was energetic and eccentric (the guy hated notebook paper fringe). His excitement for Shakespeare eventually became my own, and from there I learned in class and outside of class Shakespeare and his brand of English.
Because when it comes down to it, Shakespeare’s a man of odd words and phrases. He isn’t having Hamlet tell Ophelia “get thee to a nunnery” because he thinks of her as chaste or holy, that figure of speech essentially is a command to get over to a whorehouse you whore! Ouch, alas Ophelia drowned/completed suicide. There’s also a lot of zings within Shakespeare. “Frailty, thy name is woman” Ouch, that hurts and cuts deep. Shakespeare can also be downright macabre; “Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, but not for love.” While this is true, did you REALLY have to point it out Shakespeare? I could’ve gone without the imagery of decomposing and being eaten away by worms.
So there you have it, as you like it…or not, some examples of Shakespearean English, which is pretty good all in all, especially if used in a modern context because it might give pause to thine enemy as to thinketh as to what thou art conveying in words, forsooth it’s a good thing.
P.S. Here’s a link for a website that translates what you have to say in English to Shakespearean. Enjoyeth! 🙂