I love you too much to let you go or dismiss you, and I won’t ever discard you…but why do you discard me?
Why do you take on some new church activity? You are already involved in a LOT, and here you go and be a part of something new. But in your process of being a part, it’s making us apart, and when I see how you’re doing and what to hang out with you but you say you have a church function to go to, I get hurt. I get hurt because you place religion ahead of me, I get hurt because I question what you’re actually learning and if you’re applying it in someway to your life- if you did, it’s quite possible you’d see through the religiosity and actually interact with me.
Is it because you want to be affirmed and lauded without having to change a thing about yourself? I mean, I see what you do and I get that you’re someone striving to change yourself without changing your behaviours, and if you’re not changing your behaviours then…why and what exactly are you trying to prove?
And yet I realize the hypocrisy in my tone, I too once piled on a lot of religious activities and functions within the week, and it took a dear close friend to point out what I was doing, it took the holy spirit to point out why I was doing what I was doing. So can I fault you? Not entirely, but I would hope you and I have a good enough relationship at this point where if I’m calling you out on this you know it’s from a place of love and not condemnation.
Please, come back, to reality and life with me. Please, stop faking it, stop using religion as a means to doctor the symptoms (and perhaps even the cure) and just. get. well.
Trust me, when you’ve let go of this you’ll be more free (it takes one to know one).
I’m not asking you to pull the plug on all of your activities, but I would just like you to be a more selective with what you do and with whom, because it’s not all healthy…because not all Christians are healthy…and those are worth letting go, but it’s up for you to determine said individuals that not me.
Come back, please, for me…for us…for all the goodness in the world that exists outside the parameters of religion. I need you in my life, I need a whole person working out their life and not someone who compartmentalizes everything and subsequently me.
I’m not playing second fiddle to your religion any more.