My biggest dream in life (I wanted to do as a kid but no longer can)
None of my dreams as a childhood were out of the ordinary. I never had dreams of being a firefighter, policeman, astronaut and President of the United States, my “what do you want to be when you grow up” answer was that I wanted to be a burglar.
I wanted to be a burglar because
1) a burglar steals stuff at night, so in my 5 year old mind he must be there during the day for his wife and kids
2) a burglar steals stuff… My family was materially poor when I was younger, I was envious over friends who had new toys, I was the oldest and only boy in my family but I still received hand-me-downs from others.
Now my 5 year old self wasn’t wrong, I don’t look back at my wanting to be a burglar with scorn because it is a part of my story, it is something that I processed then because of my given circumstances.
I didn’t have big dreams that were unreachable, I did desire to be a good husband and a dad someday, it’s a dream I still have and God willing I will be both.
My biggest dream in life (one great thing I want to accomplish)
This question has a two part answer to it, so I’ll just say that two of my biggest dreams in life are to be a good husband and a good father to my kids.
A good husband…
Reading the Bible I have a basic understanding of what it takes to be a good husband, which is submitting out of love for my wife and hopefully she submits to me out of love as well. If both people are giving of themselves to the other, there isn’t room for the patriarchal or even matriarchal authority mindset to take place. I’m looking for a girl who believes in the egalitarian pattern for having a relationship, the mutual nature of giving and receiving.
My parents had their 31st wedding anniversary, I say had instead of celebrated because there’s a severe disconnect between the two of them. I won’t air their dirty laundry, all I will say is that the road to getting on the right track to being a good husband is a good one, because I haven’t seen a good example of what a healthy marriage looks like via my parents.
I will do better than them, and these aren’t empty words of promises or my future wife-to-be, I will do whatever it takes to be a good husband to my wife because she deserves it.
A good father…
My life has an empty gap in it; my father’s there but not there, work takes precedence now and it always has. What he put my sisters and I through has been a generations old problem. He said he’d be there for my mom and us kids, but he didn’t, so it’s up to me to do better next time around. I desire so much to do better than he because it hurts to have a father who is there but isn’t there. Just the other day I was hanging out with my bro, we planned a night of drinking beer, eating pizza and watching Lost. His father was at the table talking to him and he engaged me in dialogue, I talked, listened and then I offered him a beer. I wish I had that dynamic with my father… Little things like this I never had, and knowing how much it hurts I want to do better for my future kids. The generational curse has to end with me, otherwise I don’t see the point of having a wife and kids if I’m not going to do any better than generations before me.
I recognize that what it will take to get me there is Godly men and women who will hold me accountable, individuals who’ll speak into my life and help me make better choices if needed be. I am willing to be held accountable where needed be for the my sake, my wife’s sake and also my kids’ sake. I don’t want there to come a time where my wife or kids feel like they aren’t loved or feel like they can’t approach me about something difficult.
Here’s to making a difference in the lives of others for the better! 🙂