The one where I converse about Converse (and other shoes) – 20/28

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I’m not a sneaker freaker, but I do like a good pair of kicks for feets sake!

I have 2 pairs of Converse All-Stars; a black on black pair hi-top and a red-brown-gold low-top pair, the latter looks ugly in a beautiful shoe kind of way.

The other shoe style that I like to wear are wing-tips/oxfords, I have a few pairs that are comfortable…unlike the horrible pair they rent you for when you’re a groomsman. In hindsight I should have had them pay me to wear those horrible if-I-wore-them-longer-I-would-have-gotten-blisters “shoes” more like prison chains…but the things we do for love when our good friends get married, and it was a good wedding, and a better marriage was created on that day! 🙂

Lastly in this shoe post, I like hiking shoes; I am a big fan of the great outdoors, and ideally hiking shoes with good ankle support are a must. I have for the most part been prepared for hiking in this area with few blisters along the trail, but I certainly recall being with friends who were not ready for hiking shoe-wise and dang blazes, the horror…the horror!

Choose your shoes wisely, for feets sake!
~Nathanael~

 

The little things in life; where did my childlike wonder go? – 19/28

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(not me, but I did like playing in boxes when I was little)

When I think about where I am now, the “little things” are as follows; drinking French Press coffee, sleeping in, spending time with my little nieces and nephew, driving through the country, taking time to photograph, taking time to read, taking time to be… But even now, some of the “little things” in my life are way more complicated than what were the “little things” when I was young.

When I was young the little things were playing in a box, catching fireflies, watching the sky for shooting stars, playing with my sisters and possibly annoying them all the while. Those little things didn’t require much, just time, friends, and family.

One thing that crosses my mind as a follower of Christ is what Christ said about following him in Matthew 18:3 – and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” The way to get to know God is a simple way, not a simplistic way, it is one holding on to the Father’s hand even if the grasp is a mere pinkie, it’s about faith and doubt and being unsure of where it is all going…where life is going, and taking what he said by faith and bound up religious dogma, making following him a lengthy list of do’s and don’ts.
So much of Jesus’ ministry when he was alive on earth was to the poor, the weak, the marginalized, the downtrodden…and also, to children! He went so far as to rebuke his disciples when children gathered to spend time with him, and in that day and age that’s rather astounding.

So when I examine the little things in life both past and present, I realize that while so much has changed I still can find ways to live a more simple life. It’s the Lenten season for followers of Christ, and while some might be all about giving up something, I recognize that if I am going to do that it must be something that lasts longer than Lent. I’m still not sure how I fully approach a more simple lifestyle, the big one that comes to mind is living in excess, living with more this and that, when I really don’t need more material possessions in my life.
The little things in life help me recall who I was and who I am, but also who I want to be. I don’t live in self-imposed guilt for having too much, but it does weigh upon my soul when I see and interact with people who have less than me. so it begins with change and figuring out what I can to approach life by way of the little things, but also to approach God as a child in innocence and awe of a God who is bigger and better than I couldn’t have ever imagined.

~Nathanael~

Home at last is on the horizon – 18/28

“How far we all come. How far we all come away from ourselves. You can never go home again.” – James Agee

It has been sometime since I’ve been home, and honestly I don’t know when I left. This wandering and meandering has left me restless, but not hopeless, for I know that home is on the horizon.

In a way I think there have been many catalysts in my life to get me to a place where I have a feeling of homelessness. I do live in a house, there’s a roof over my head more or less. But the nature of calling it my own, coming home to someone I love, kicking my feet up after a long day of work, cooking for someone I love, loving someone I love…I don’t have that in this season of my life. I could kick down this road called life begrudgingly and write love and all that, but I have hope for what isn’t in my life at this time and I am doing what I can to get there from here. 🙂
That’s what I’ve held on to all these tumultuous years, that has been a big part of what has sustained me despite going through a lot of bullshit, learning things the hard way, and learning things first hand where if I had proper guidance I might not have made some mistakes…but even though it has stunted me in some ways, I’m still fighting, and I will keep on going and I won’t stop to get what I want in this life, and for beginners, a home to call my own.

I can’t say if I will be tied down to a 20 year mortgage, the white picket fence, the whole house owning bit…but I do want the wife and I want some kids of my own 🙂 That by far is home to me.

These things take time, I am aware of that, but what better time to start than now? In some ways, I have already started, and in some other ways I am striving towards that goal. One of my favorite words is teleological – essentially it is the process of getting from here to there, what goals set can be goals made for a desired result. I don’t have all the answers, but I am doing what I can to prepare a way out for me, a way towards having a family, a home for myself.

I can never go home again, but I certainly can make a home for myself, my future wife and children, it will be a new home and it will be our home.

~Nathanael~

I was a musician (and eventually I will be a musician again) – 16/28

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Growing up I played classical piano for 6-7 years, but the thing was, it was more for the normalization/”paying my dues” to my parents than me. At this particular time in my life my youngest sister took up piano as well, and excel…well excelling is an understatement; if my siblings and I are quintessentially The Royal Tenenbaums (Great movie if you haven’t seen it, and if you seen it, see it again!) with me as the writer, H* is the artist, A* is the athlete, K* is the musician.

Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, pulling teeth without anesthesia…er…playing classical piano. I probably would have liked it to some degree if I had been allowed to play what I wanted to play; yes Vivaldi, Brahms, Beethoven are my homelads but there’s so much more to play on the piano than the classics and that was never afforded to me.

So I quit, and I haven’t looked back.

Yet when I was taking one of my first college courses, an elective called “Music of the World” taught by an awesome guy who liked his music loud and ripped Christopher Colombus a new one pertaining to colonialism and genocide…well, in that class, apart from it being my first (and not last) A in a college course, I learned about Indian music, I learned in particularly about the sitar.

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Now what I like about the Sitar is that George Harrison played it. Not so much my favorite member of The Beatles, but the guy who I appreciate most for his solo career post-Beatles. I liked listening to the music of India in Mr. Becker’s classroom, it stirred my wanderlust, it stirred my desire for more of the world and less of me, a truly musical transcendental moment if there ever was one. 😉
I also liked how there were regular notes, and then notes between the notes! Who’d have thunk it but Indian musicians?!? It kind of reminds me of hidden rooms and easter eggs in a video game, not that I play much of them, but just discovering something that’s there that might be glossed over or just hidden in plain sight…that’s pretty cool.

I haven’t started yet, as the instrument is pretty expensive, but I do know where to get one and I do know someone who teaches the sitar so it’s all a matter of time.

All in due time playing one heck of an instrument, the Sitar.

~Nathanael~

Or else; the vague threat that scares me a bit – 15/28

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Or else what? Left to it’s own devices or else is one power packed statement for only two words.

There are many times where subject a has to do insert-item-here and if rebellion ensues an or else statement might be the follow up. But what is the or else? It usually a Pandora’s box of uncertainty, and it is a box you certainly don’t want to unpack! Oh how it’s a scary and tricky phrase, it’s the Dirty Harry make-my-day of phrases that’ll leave you in shock and awe, but probably more in shock.

So my encouragement to you the reader is to read my blog more often, share it with family and friends, you know why?

OR ELSE!

~Nathanael~

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