I’m on the fence with social media – 25/28

I am on the fence when it comes to social media; yes I have a Facebook account, I have a Twitter account, an Instagram account, a WordPress account, a LinkedIn profile, and a Tumblr account as well.

It does help me stay in contact with friends, heck it even reminds me when their birthdays are coming up, but still I’m not sold on it completely. Well I’ll put it like this; when social media replaces possible face-to-face time, that is where disconnect has ultimately taken its toll. My bestie Mark and I communicate a lot via Facebook but ultimately we come together to hang out and communicate in real life.
Because we are so well connected there are usually few gaps into filling in the other with what’s going on, but still I’ve kind of backed away from pulling out my laptop asap when hanging out with him. Sure it does get to that point where he does his thing and I do mine, but we can usually go 2-3 hours of chatting without being distracted by our technology.

***

Social media’s a good place to begin, but it’s best you don’t end it there. There’s a big beautiful world out there teeming with potential, and then there’s this:

~Nathanael~

A lack of communication leaves me speechless – 13/28

The thought of not being able to communicate, incommunicado, is a frightening one to me.

Communication is vital to pretty much everything, and there’s more than just verbal communication; Body language is said to make up for over 90% of communication altogether, so I guess it’s not solely what you say but how you say it…and to add that to the lot of not being able to communicate? Shudders run down my spine just thinking about it.

I think first off that if I were incommunicado I would have a hard time doing my job. I do a very good job at active listening on the job, but having built rapport with those I work with, I give suggestions catered to where they are in life. To actively listen but not give any feedback would probably irk a good deal of those I work with simply because I know that they enjoy hearing what I have to say because I don’t sugarcoat things with my clients…but again, it comes from a place of having rapport with them in the first place.

Granted relationships with my friends and family would be stunted, but I think I do a good job of being present and the listener that “what? Nathanael can no longer communicate? I didn’t know that” would be the most common reply (or so I think).

Then there’s this blog…oh noes! I can’t communicate via blogging? Talk about an eLimb that has been hacked off, woe is I! Such a great travesty has befallen mankind in the wake of me not being able to blog…don’t mind my self-imposed verbal theatrics.

***

So there you have it, from the falling of the Roman empire to me not being able to communicate, such monumental events in the history of mankind.

~Nathanael~

P.S. But I do realize those who don’t like me, and dare I say perhaps hate me, wouldn’t mind that I could no longer communicate. Well guess what, I’m not incommunicado, I’m still going to do what I do and that includes loving on you! 🙂

Say what you mean and mean what you say – 7/28

I am a man of a lot of pet peeves, A LOT; primarily people and their driving skills (or lack thereof) but there’s also the nature of communication. Yes I sometimes get bogged down on what gets said and how it gets said, but there’s also the nature of someone hint hint-ing about something. C’mon man…or woman…spill the beans! Stop this unnecessary beating around the bush.

While I have communicated where I am coming from in all of this in a previous post, I will put out there why I think that it’s a good thing to say what you mean and mean what you say.

***

By speaking authentically, people will trust you
; if you’re caught up in apprehension and perhaps even verbally squirming, your posture might make you out to be a liar…but by speaking the truth, speaking from a place of authenticity can take you farther than you might expect.

Body language [sometimes] speaks louder than words; even if you’re communicating something with knowledge and insight but have an air of not wanting to be there, you’re bored, et al. people will pick up on this and you’ll be viewed under scrutiny for the way you carry yourself via body language.

Honesty is the best policy; Instead of putting out there what you think people want to hear, put out the truth…but…

Use tact; …Use tact and love, choose your words carefully before you say them. My rule of thumb is think before you think before you speak.

Take ownership in what you’re communicating; I think that a good part of learning in our earlier years is one of mimicry. I know that before I started reading at the age of 3, I would “read” to my sister, that is repeat what was just said to me as my mother read to me and I then went to read to my sister. But there comes a time when “well my mother/father/pastor/best friend says” wears out its welcome. Yes these can be valid sources for what you’re trying to communicate, but what do YOU as an individual have to say? I am more likely to listen to what someone has to communicate that is the polar opposite of my viewpoints if he or she makes known this is what I have to say rather than communicating via “well my mother/father/pastor/best friend” statements.

It’s okay to not know; In my younger years (in particular about Christian matters) there was a drive that I had to know all the answers, that somehow it was imperative to be right. Well I no longer have that bent to me, I would rather come across being graceful and loving than right, and sometimes that comes at the “expense” of not knowing. I own up to when I don’t know, and I know that it’s okay not to know…ya know? 😉 But seriously, communicating a lack of knowing is okay, it also provides you with a chance to learn more about the subject you don’t know.

Speak the truth in love; Some people get this confused and come across as speaking as an asshole. Love should be the center, should be the bearing in which we chart our lives, and we should weight out our words accordingly. Am I saying what I am saying because I’m out to get “the other”? Am I saying what I am saying to get a reaction, to rile someone up? Am I saying what I am saying because I think my viewpoints are the only valid ones? So much needs to be thought out before it’s vocalized, and I am guilty at times of vocalizing a reaction with no thought whatsoever.

***

Communication is vital in all relationships. It is important to put out there what we should say in an effective manner. To go about skirting issues will only lead to a break in communication and quite possibly a break in relationship to whom we’re communicating to, so please for the love all that is good, stop hint hint-ing and say what you mean and mean what you say.

~Nathanael~

Ken Ham vs Bill Nye debate; what’s the point?

It has come across in my news feed on Facebook that tonight there’s going to be a debate between Bill Nye and Ken Ham (you can watch it live here). I find it more than slightly unnerving that this is going to take place, and maybe more unnerving is people rooting for it. The thing is, I bet if Bill Nye and Ken Ham took the time to dialogue they could probably find some common ground in the midst of their different viewpoints, if they took the time to graciously listen to the other person a lot of good could come from it, but I am a skeptic to the debate being a “good thing” because of several reasons:

1) If they’re debating, they’re already coming into it with their views and perspectives intact and they will leave with it intact.
2) They will be bring their big guns out with the aim to destroy the other person.
3) There will probably be some educated/formalized insulting of the other person.
4) Versus is a GREAT (sarcastic) way to perpetuate an Us Against Them paradigm.
5) Both followers of either sides will have fundamentalists who will relish in the verbal carnage that takes place.
6) What good will come from this except for either individual’s views being put out there to a possibly larger audience…

I truly wish that it was a time for Bill Nye and Ken Ham to lay down their verbal weapons of mass destruction and just listen to the other. Sure, throw in some Q&A time, but listening…that’s a key to any relationship, whether it’s a good one or even a bad one, and only good things can come from listening.

~Nathanael~

Communication is vital/367 days later

This is going to be a semi-difficult post to write. It may also be semi-difficult to read. So read with caution and I’ll take caution in the writing…

Communication is vital, and there is someone in my life albeit a bit less now that I have away from my hometown and out on my own. This person is family, and despite being family, we haven’t had a serious conversation with one another in 367 days. Now you might ask me how do I know how many days it has been, well simply put, we talked on a serious level prior to the midnight showing of the first installment of The Hobbit.

***

One thing I recognize with communication with me, I do what I can to get from the

of the conversation pool and into the

pretty quickly. I like getting past the general/typical questions and asking the more difficult questions. Some people think I transition into these types of questions faster than I ought to, but I think I am pretty good at assessing character and whether or not someone is capable and willing to get there conversationally with me.

Yet with this person in my life whom I haven’t spoken to in 367 days there’s the nature of we hardly get to the deep end, and it’s not that I don’t try to get there, I just think that the other person’s incapable of getting into deeper waters conversationally. It’s hard, it really is, because I sometimes don’t know how to go back to the shallow end when I’ve been to the deep end; I guess I kind of have to adapt to these present circumstances. Yet I realize this despite the difficulty of this self-perceived backtracking, if it will help foster communication and restoration to a fractured relationship then it is totally worth it. 🙂
I also realize that it begins with me; as much as I’d like to wait around on this person to get their shit together, it isn’t necessarily going to solely happen based on me wanting or hoping that they do it, I need to be willing to be the one who gets it going! So with all that in mind, this is a resolution that I carry out. If I meet resistance, I’ll withdraw but not fully retreat; as someone who has been discarded like trash before, I don’t like the feeling and realize that redemption is for everyone if they’re willing to be redeemed.

~Nathanael~