I’m packing up for 5 days in Wisconsin, and one thing I recognize is my compartmentalization skills; my camera gear is separate from my clothing is separate from my book bag is separate from my laptop bag.
While this is important, well, as long as you know which is which and if you can find what you’re looking for at it’s needed time, life sometimes in itself becomes compartmentalized; my work life is separated from my home life is separated from my spiritual life is separated from the friends I hang out with on Friday nights after work at a bar…
While I do think that balance and boundaries are a good thing, some things need to have that type of order, it is my opinion that compartmentalization is more work than what it’s worth, and that a follower of Christ I should fear or worry about living holistically, because as Rob Bell said; everything is spiritual.
There was a time in my life where I did my best to compartmentalize my life, my life consisted of boxes, all of mine but I only let some people in to what was really going on in my life. I did what I could to keep up a good facade of “everything is okay” but by the time I got to college I started unraveling at the seams.
When I went away to school I tried to keep up a good show of what was going on in my life; after all I was the new guy and didn’t know anyone apart from a friend who transferred from junior college to that school with me, we were actually in the same program before he dropped out and got married while I switched majors and graduated.
Some of my suite-mates and even one of my roommates picked up something was amiss in Nathanael-land (why yes, I am an island entire of myself, sometimes) and they were patient with me and they loved on me which I found odd because I thought that if I put myself out there I would be disliked and even worse, unloved.
Life without love is hardly a life at all, you have to give it and hopefully you get some love as well 🙂 But as I put my hurts and my pains out to my new acquaintances who became my friends I realized that I was still liked…I was still loved.
Since my college days gone by I do try to open myself more to people I trust and live life holistically, but I need to step up my game. If I am not willing to be more transparent and less compartmentalized how can I expect anyone else to? My standards are for me, but if I am to part wisdom upon those around me it begins with being the change I want to see in me.
So I will tear down my curtains,
I will reveal what goes on behind-the-scenes,
I will engage with you the proscenium.