Breaking away from being a leader…and being okay with the outcomes
At this year’s Gay Pride Parade in Chicago I have predetermined not to act as “leader” of the group of individuals who usually go with me to this event, I handed the reins over to my former pastor’s son who has been with me from the start, a guy several years younger than me but that’s okay with me.
I not the official “leader” for my group of friends who attend the Gay Pride Parade, but I do invite people, I share my story, I give them the details as I know best and I keep them in the loop of things as I learn them. I did this the first time I went to the Gay Pride Parade 2 years ago as well as last year, but in all honesty I thought I would be in Southern California by now and so that’s why I shifted gears and passed off the leadership position (for what it’s worth) to someone else. Now that I am still local, I haven’t gone back to leading up this group and I am perfectly okay with it, but it takes time for me to be “okay with it” as I like to see things out to completion, including roles of leadership and essentially those that follow the leader.
I have to some degree always taken on the role of the leader, either by default or because I was assigned to the task, which for the most part I never have had a problem with that and for the most part people haven’t had a problem with me being a leader because I think I’m fair, I delegate responsibilities to others well & I’m a good active listener.
I don’t know how it’s going down with my friend taking over as a leader, I do sense that maybe I should have been a better mentor in helping him lead, but I’m not sweating the details at all, what happens will happen, and I think that might be an important quality of being a leader – letting the chips fall where they may and not getting up in arms over it.
Because there will be occasions in my life where I won’t be in charge or I will delegate responsibilities and I will be leading but from a position where people are running the show and I’m leading in other ways. I can’t always be the “go-to guy”, if I’m not able to be reached I have to make alternative people be the ones who can be reached and that’s a little nerve-wracking for me but distance can be a healthy thing and if I’m a husband and a father, I need to make time for them and not give them the leftovers of my energy at the end of the day.