Being myself is a difficult task at times
The road my life is heading to is hardly paved let alone well marked as to where I’m going can be bothersome and quite lonely. Without a trace of elitism I say that following God into uncharted waters is very daunting at times, but it must be done.
Pressure much? I know there are Christians out there who are doing their part at building bridges between the Christian community and the LGBT community, there’s overlap but there needs to be more and I want to be a part of that process. It still pisses me off at times when I think about who the majority of my critics for this is, fellow Christians, individuals I’ve known for years still try to cut me down and write off what God’s doing and what I’m doing. I had a pastor that for a while I respected start making fun of the LGBT community and I stepped in and defended them, he got angry because I got the upper hand in a peaceful manner, so he let me know that I’m going to hell as a result, hardly Christlike at all.
I am getting better at handling my critics, but it still gets to me when Christians open up their mouth and feel free to say whatever the hell they feel like. Jesus demonstrated love and humility, he didn’t open up his mouth all the time but only when necessary, some things I want to speak out against but I bite my lip, but when it comes to speaking up for someone or others, I will!
To paraphrase Martin Luther King Jr. “It’s not the words of our enemies we’ll remember but the silence of our friends” and honestly I don’t want to be on the side of silence. Plus there’s the dynamic of the poem by Martin Niemöller called First they came;
First they came for the communists,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a Jew.
Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me.
I don’t want to get to a point where my silence speaks louder than my words, I don’t want to grow old[er] and find myself in a place where I’m complacent in hostility, if God grants me a long life I hope to do my best to honor him with all of my years and not find a niche that fits nicely, where I have the big house, the 401K, the summer home along the coast. I was born for pressure and I can hold my own, where I’m going isn’t a well trod path but God is with me, and as Paul said in Romans 8:31 “If God is for us who can be against us?” I personalize that verse, if God is for me who can be against me?
It’s a road that I don’t know where it’ll take me, the end is not inside, but God is with me.
P.S. Another factor to this road ahead of me is finding my June, God willing she’s up to being a part of this journey as well. I know there are girls out there who desire to build bridges between the Christian community and the LGBT community, I just have to find her 🙂 Where art thou my fairest June? 😉