There’s a new[er] show out on MTV these days called Virgin Territory. It delves into following around virgins who come from many backgrounds, and subsequently many reasons why the guys and gals of the show are virgins. Some (no surprise) come from religious background, others are virgins for personal/painful reasons, but all in all I find it to be a pretty decent show.
The thing is, I too am a virgin. I realize that for me and my sexuality it is there but it is dormant in a positive way. I say this because I think sometimes, and yes this is coming from Rob Bell’s SEX GOD book, that culture…Christian and otherwise…tries to dictate how we should be as sexual beings (animals or angels) and even that is being dictated, asexuality / asexuals isn’t talked about.
But, for us who are aware of our proclivity to be sexually attracted to others, whether it’s the same sex, opposite sex, or even for those who are attracted to both sexes there’s a sense of competing voices.
As a follower of Christ I’ve heard a lot about sex in Christian circles. Coming from an Evangelical upbringing it was almost on par with that quote from Mean Girls;
And for me that is very misleading, and it drives Christians (or at least a good portion of the ones I’ve met) into thinking/shutting down their sexual drive. I am quite certain, despite being a virgin, that isn’t what God had in mind.
Then there’s other-culture. Sex is sex, no harm no foul as long as it’s consensual and no one gets pregnant and/or an STI they’ll be fine…well, at least that’s how it’s spun time and time again. I do appreciate MTV Virgin Territory’s commercials of only you get to decide whether you want to have sex or not and honestly, yes! That is the answer. Even that is the answer for me, though I am one for waiting for something with commitment and security and intimacy in its truest form.
Here’s my Rob Bell’s Sex God tie-in:
“When we deny the spiritual dimension to our existence, we end up living like animals. And when we deny the physical, sexual dimension to our existence, we end up living like angels.
And both ways are destructive, because God made us human.”
I am human. I am sexually attracted to women. I know this and I have always known this and despite all the competing voices of what I should / shouldn’t do with my sexuality, I personally am going to wait for something substantial relationship-wise before I have sex. It’s not my religion talking, it’s what I want to do with my sexuality. What you do is up to you, your morals might be similar like mine or they might not be, however you choose to work it out is up to you.