Home at last is on the horizon – 18/28

“How far we all come. How far we all come away from ourselves. You can never go home again.” – James Agee

It has been sometime since I’ve been home, and honestly I don’t know when I left. This wandering and meandering has left me restless, but not hopeless, for I know that home is on the horizon.

In a way I think there have been many catalysts in my life to get me to a place where I have a feeling of homelessness. I do live in a house, there’s a roof over my head more or less. But the nature of calling it my own, coming home to someone I love, kicking my feet up after a long day of work, cooking for someone I love, loving someone I love…I don’t have that in this season of my life. I could kick down this road called life begrudgingly and write love and all that, but I have hope for what isn’t in my life at this time and I am doing what I can to get there from here. 🙂
That’s what I’ve held on to all these tumultuous years, that has been a big part of what has sustained me despite going through a lot of bullshit, learning things the hard way, and learning things first hand where if I had proper guidance I might not have made some mistakes…but even though it has stunted me in some ways, I’m still fighting, and I will keep on going and I won’t stop to get what I want in this life, and for beginners, a home to call my own.

I can’t say if I will be tied down to a 20 year mortgage, the white picket fence, the whole house owning bit…but I do want the wife and I want some kids of my own 🙂 That by far is home to me.

These things take time, I am aware of that, but what better time to start than now? In some ways, I have already started, and in some other ways I am striving towards that goal. One of my favorite words is teleological – essentially it is the process of getting from here to there, what goals set can be goals made for a desired result. I don’t have all the answers, but I am doing what I can to prepare a way out for me, a way towards having a family, a home for myself.

I can never go home again, but I certainly can make a home for myself, my future wife and children, it will be a new home and it will be our home.

~Nathanael~

Whatever dude; the Epitaph of my and the next generation (debunked) – 17/28

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When I was a youth ministry major 8 years ago I was informed that my generation and the generation afterwards would be very casual, that truth couldn’t be spelled with a capital T, that relativism and all things spiritual would be a touch-and-go matter and as long as values didn’t step on the toes of others “whatever dude” would be the mantra.

I write as one who is a follower of Christ, so if you’re from a different faith system, your input would be nice, because I don’t know your side of the coin as well as you do so please contribute by commenting. 🙂

While I do see that there’s a bit more of a liberal nature to my generation, I don’t see the concerns of my professors truly come to be. The thing is as I consider myself post-Evangelical and more in the Emergent camp than not, and my days when I self-identified as Evangelical don’t come back to haunt me (at least, not too much), the time that I was an Evangelical served me well and was a building block in my faith and not a stepping stone; that is, it helped me to where I am currently and going over a means from one side of the pond to the other, something that doesn’t get looked back upon.

So this “Whatever Dude” approach to my generation to things of God and spirituality? Not necessarily so, in fact I think that if anything my generation is doing what can be engage it more on their terms and not going by “tradition” or “we’ve always done it this way, so why change?” means. There is nothing innately wrong with tradition, but not willing to explore deeper waters and being comfortable closer to the shoreline…not quite what I thought of when Jesus described the nature of following him, or even how Dietrich Bonhoffer put it; When God calls a man [or a woman] to himself, he bids him [or her] to come and die.

Even for those in my generation who aren’t followers of Christ, I see a re-reading of religious texts and it not being read for face value either. My Muslim friends aren’t out to kill me or convert me, there’s an understanding and there’s dialogue, and it goes a lot further any day of the week than debate – whether them to me or I to them. I think my generation has a pretty good handle on talking, and even listening for that matter! I’m proud to hear the questions and conversations happening 🙂 To God be the glory in all things!

Lastly for this “whatever dude” debunked post, there’s the nature of doubting and questioning. I truly believe that doubting and questioning walks hand-in-hand with faith, because if one’s able to sum up the entirety of their belief system in an unflinching manner, that’s belief in the belief system and in many ways faith exits the scene. As a follower of Christ I can only speak on behalf of my brothers and sisters in Christ, so here’s something Jesus told his Disciples prior to him going back to Heaven; John 20:29 – Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”
Faith is one of those things you can’t really have a grasp on, you really can’t, but then again that’s why it’s faith. You take your life, your journey, and you take God and matters of faith in faith. I am a follower but I am a doubter and very very much a questioner, and I have faith that God will meet me where I am at, but I also have days where I doubt it. But God is bigger than me, God is bigger than my questions, my doubts, my unanswered prayers and questions…and sometimes, not all the time, I am okay with that. I am okay with a God I don’t believe in inasmuch as I have faith in.

~Nathanael~

Or else; the vague threat that scares me a bit – 15/28

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Or else what? Left to it’s own devices or else is one power packed statement for only two words.

There are many times where subject a has to do insert-item-here and if rebellion ensues an or else statement might be the follow up. But what is the or else? It usually a Pandora’s box of uncertainty, and it is a box you certainly don’t want to unpack! Oh how it’s a scary and tricky phrase, it’s the Dirty Harry make-my-day of phrases that’ll leave you in shock and awe, but probably more in shock.

So my encouragement to you the reader is to read my blog more often, share it with family and friends, you know why?

OR ELSE!

~Nathanael~

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For the love of Blintzes (but what do I know about love?) – 14/28

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I’m going to be honest, prior to looking up Wikipedia’s entry on blintzes, I had no idea what they were. But it looks good, really good.

I am a fan of breakfast, I really am, but I’m no early riser if I can help it. Thankfully there are places that serve breakfast foods at non-breakfast times! Otherwise I probably could go years without eating some wholegrain waffles with fresh slices of strawberries and whip cream…or blintzes…but thankfully I am a capable and adaptable cook. I do like pancakes, crepes, and latkes. So I guess provided I find a decent blintz recipe I’ll fire up my stove top and make some. 🙂

~Nathanael~

Tales from the Kitchen – 13/18

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There are times where I know what I am doing in the kitchen from the beginning of what I am cooking to the finished project. But sometimes, just sometimes, I’m not as confident in my cooking. Thank goodness for experimentation and unintended consequences of a delicious nature!

For example. The first time I made breaded pork chops was a few months ago. I have made pork chops in a plethora of ways before, by breaded pork chops were uncharted territory. I knew about the egg, the buttermilk, the flour…but seasoning? I didn’t really have a clue! So I added some Indian tandoori powder, some garlic powder, some smoked sea salt and ground ginger. I wasn’t sure what to expect, and I was also partially worried that some of the seasonings would over power the others, but when all was said and done.
Success!

It was unintended results, but good ones, and sometimes life presents those kind of results and you’ve just got to take them as you get them!

~Nathanael~